Silence is Golden

I came across this post on another blog a few weeks ago and wanted to share it because I identified so strongly with it.  The author discusses what it is like to be an introvert.  He says:

Nothing excites me more than being part of a huge crowd — or performing in front of it for that matter. But I’m not necessarily that social. I talk low, large groups of people can really make me nervous, and in a group setting I often wait to speak until somebody addresses me directly.

The challenge of being an introvert is that sometimes people misread our inwardness as being sad or upset about something all the time, or else they think we’re arrogant, elitist, or standoffish.  I can’t tell you how many people have told me that they expected me to be an elitist prick before they got to know me because I’m so withdrawn or because I seem perpetually disinterested. But just because I’m introverted doesn’t mean I don’t like you, or that I don’t care about what you have to say. It just means I’m more interested in experiences and sensations than I am in filling up the silence.

At home I would receive comments on my introversion several times a month.  What's wrong?  Why aren't you having fun?  You should smile more often.  I thought you were a huge *#!@% before I got to know you.  I have a good group of friends at home though who know me well and know that not having a smile on my face or words gushing from my mouth doesn't mean that I'm not enjoying myself or their company.

Moving somewhere new, where no one knows me has been a rough transition.  It has meant that I hear comments like this several times a week instead of several times a month.  I know that the comments are well intentioned but it is harder to brush them off when they are so frequent and when I don't have people to spend time with who aren't going to comment on and question my personality.  And despite the best of intentions with the comments, what many people don't realize is that their comments imply a defect - that my personality should be something besides what it is.

Luckily, I have met a lot of amazing people here and am developing a new circle of friends who are equally as fantastic as the ones I have at home.  People that understand that sometimes silence is a good thing and that not everyone exudes copious amounts of emotion.